o__0

eeeeeeeeeyup

i can’t help it that i’m so damn irresistible

guy at work: “is that the other color shirt from the one i complimented the other day?” (more like 2 weeks ago or so)
me: “oh haha yeah i guess. i have like four of these shirts.”
guy: “what color was the other one? blue?”
me: “i don’t really remember. i don’t pay much attention to the clothes i wear here.”
*a few moments later*
guy: “i really like how you did your makeup today”
me: “haha uhh i just forgot to put on foundation because i was in a rush” (note: the rest of the makeup is just smudged eyeliner and mascara because that’s how i roll)
guy: “but no really, you just… you just look really good.”
me, thinking: ahahaha oh my god dude except for the fact that this should totally be a professional relationship also i know through the grapevine that you knocked up your girlfriend whom you have never mentioned to me and now i’m thinking about that time that you were like ‘usually when a guy doesn’t tell a girl about a relationship he’s in it’s because he’s trying to keep his options open’ and this just makes me feel hella awkward gonna say that i have a meeting to go to or some shit bye

Academic Goal for This Semester

Slip a Star Trek reference in every Quiz for one of my classes. It can’t just be in there randomly, though. It has to actually make sense.

If I ever taught a class, an extra credit assignment would be to watch a Star Trek episode and connect it to one of the topics that was covered in class.

Formspring: Are you a good swimmer?

bitchessssssssssssssssss i’m a GREAT swimmer
i’m so good at swimming that marine animals are all like “whoa watch out here come cephalopodgal swimmin up the joint”
and i’m like “sup duuuuuuuuuuuuuudes” as i speed by wearing my cool shades and eating a slice of pizza
and all them fish are like “daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang”
and the anchovies are like “thanks for not having us on your pizza”
and i’m like
“you’re welcome”

Ask me anything